Diplomacy
by dashe
Summary: A princess knows how to deal with matters diplomatically. So whenever there's a problem on board the Going Merry, the crew turns to Vivi for assistance. -Gift fic for Serendipital-


For Seren: a good person, a great writer, and an awesome friend.

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Vivi was a princess. As such, she knew how to handle matters diplomatically. And the Straw Hat crew was in dire need of diplomatic skills.

"Get out of my spot, moss head!"

"Go somewhere else, dartboard brow."

"Shitty swordsman!"

"Dumbass cook!"

"Vivi! Vivi!" The blue-haired girl looked down to see Chopper pulling at her leg. The little reindeer looked up at her pleadingly. "Sanji and Zoro are fighting again!"

Smiling at him gently, the princess nodded and got up. "Where are they?"

"Out on the deck." As Vivi allowed herself to be led by the hand, she thought how inevitable this most recent altercation was. For the past week, Sanji had taken to smoking at a particular place on the deck in his free time. It was only a matter of time until Zoro, looking to annoy him, decided to lay down in this location for a nap.

As they emerged onto the deck, Chopper pointed at the pair. They looked like they were about to come to blows. Vivi walked over quickly. "Hello!" she greeted cheerfully. Looking down at the swordsman, she smiled. "You look like you were having a nice nap, Zoro."

The swordsman only grunted.

"Vivi, my dear!" Sanji swooned, but immediately came back to the matter at hand. "He was. In my spot!"

The girl placed a hand on his soothingly. "Your spot, Sanji? I'm terribly sorry. I don't think I can be much of a replacement for this spot of yours, but would it be all right for the moment if I accompanied you for the afternoon, say, over there?" She nodded at the other side of the deck.

Sanji beamed, all matters concerning Zoro immediately forgotten. "Of course, Vivi dear! I would be delighted! Of course, you are more than a replacement for a simple spot on a deck!" He followed her eagerly, hearts in his eyes.

Vivi laughed and asked him about his latest dish. As the cook launched into an explanation, she looked back at the green-haired man, who had closed his eyes and lain back down. Disaster appeared to have been averted, and Vivi smiled, satisfied, as she turned her attention back to the blond.

The next day Vivi awoke to an awful racket. After sleepily getting dressed, she hurried to the storage room, where the source of the noise was. Opening the door, she saw Luffy sticking his tongue out at an irate Nami, who was yelling at him.

"How many times have I told you not to sneak down here and eat all our rations?! We don't have enough to get to the next island now, thanks to you! Get it into your thick head that you don't have the only stomach on this ship!" Pausing to catch her breath, presumably so that she could continue to lecture him, Nami noticed Vivi standing in the doorway.

"Good morning, Nami, Luffy," the blue-haired girl spoke up, nodding to each one in turn.

The navigator sighed, her anger deflating somewhat, and gestured at the captain angrily. "Hey there, Vivi. As you can see, this idiot has gotten us into a mess again."

"Now, I don't think this is too big of a mess," Vivi began calmly. She surveyed the room, counting the barrels, then announced, "Yes, this will work out. Luffy will have to learn some restraint, since he won't be getting any big portions anymore," here she smiled apologetically at the boy, "Zoro doesn't eat much other than sake on a regular day, and I'm sure Sanji will understand if we explain the situation to him. Chopper doesn't eat a lot either, and Usopp is usually busy working in the anchor room, so I don't think he'll notice at all."

"And Nami," she continued, "this is the perfect opportunity for you to go on that diet you were talking to me about." She nudged the girl encouragingly. "As for myself, I'd be more than happy to join you," she finished. "Taking all that into account, we have enough food to last for five, perhaps six days. That's more than enough time for us to get to the next island."

Nami blinked, nodding as Vivi explained. "Well...I suppose we can make do..." she mumbled, deep in thought. Then she looked up and smiled. "You're right, Vivi." Taking the other girl's arm, she unceremoniously kicked Luffy out before exiting the storage room, making sure to lock it behind her. "Hey, how many sizes do you think we'll be able to drop down to by the time we make our next stop?" The princess laughed and gave a playful reply as they reached the stairs. Catching Luffy's eye, she gave a small wave before following the navigator up to the deck.

Then there was the occasion where Vivi chanced upon Usopp and Chopper locked in a heated debate in the anchor room.

"Vivi!" The two had pounced on her the moment she walked in, and she murmured a faint greeting in bemusement.

"Hi to you too, Vivi," the sniper responded dismissively. "Come here; help us decide who's right, will ya?"

"Yeah!" the reindeer piped up, his little arms crossed and his feet tucked under himself.

"All right," Vivi readily agreed, wondering what this was all about.

"Now, this is a very important argument. Dare I say - and I do! - so important, that the fate of the world could depend upon its answer." Usopp thrust a finger in the air dramatically. He leaned in. "_Who would win_...ninjas or pirates?"

Vivi blinked. "Pardon me?"

"Ninjas, of course!" Usopp gesticulated wildly. "Clearly they have the upper hand with their superior mental and physical capabilities, not to mention their supreme usage of gadgets such as nunchaku and shuriken!" He mimicked aiming a throwing star at the wall.

"That's not true!" Chopper burst out, waving his hooves in the air just as furiously. "You're a pirate yourself, you traitor! And pirates have guns and swords that would definitely ensure victory over any ninja!" He mimed pulling out a sword and brandishing it threateningly.

"Well," Vivi said thoughtfully, "it's true that ninjas are likely better trained." Usopp nodded smugly. "However, pirates do have more advanced technology." Chopper uttered a small "Ha-ha!" "Therefore," she concluded, "it would all depend on the terrain they were fighting in. On land, ninjas would be able to use the landscape to their advantage, and quickly overcome any opponents with their capabilities and weaponry. But on the high seas, pirates would just as quickly vanquish their foes, seeing as they have the sailing skills and cannons to back up their manpower."

After elaborating, Vivi looked over to see both Usopp and Chopper gazing at her in awe.

"Wow, Vivi," Usopp said. "You're really an expert on this."

"Yeah!" Chopper chimed in admiringly. "That's totally what would happen!"

The blue-haired girl laughed and stood. With a last smile at the pair, she walked out.

Nami grinned to herself, having seen it all from her position on the deck. It would be a sad, sad day, she reflected, when Vivi left.

-end-

I wish there was a genre for nakamaship.


End file.
